7 weeks until Tough Mudder if my calculations are correct and I think being scared shitless is an understatement. I'm hoping that by having a team of 55 on Team eXtreme (...and quite possibly still growing) I can kind of slip through the cracks and not be seen....by anyone. Do you think that can happen? Ha! Probably not.
I've been rethinking these so called goals I keep making for myself. I'm thinking about things that I want to accomplish and not just in a fitness aspect but in life in general. I think something that constantly holds me back is fear. Not fear from my own mind, but fear of what everyone else is going to think. When I initially signed up for Tough Mudder I knew that it was a big challenge and I thought I have 8 months to prepare and now it's 7 weeks away and I'm not remotely close to where I want to be. Mind you, I moved out and got a divorce in that time frame so I try not to beat myself up about that...but my point is why does it bother me so much to worry about what other people are going to say?
It happened again recently when I decided to sign up for a 1/2 marathon which will be in Denver, CO on 10/20/2013 for those of you wanting to know. I signed up for multiple reasons and I'll tell you a few.
There are plenty of other reasons too I'm sure, but I sat on the fence about signing up for this for weeks. Questioning my own personal reasons for doing it, but then found myself questioning what others were going to say. "That's a bit extreme don't you think?" "Perhaps you should wait until you lose more weight." "Remember that you have to do what's right for you and your body." Etc. You get my drift. I've heard it before, trust me and honestly it's like a slap in the face. Sometimes people genuinely do care and don't want to see you set yourself up for failure and I totally understand that...I do...but I also try to tell myself that I can't sit back on the sidelines and watch while everyone else continues their journey just because I'm worried about what people will think. I eventually signed up because my good friends just said "stop seeking approval and live for you"
This is what I know....I know I will not be physically capable of doing every obstacle at Tough Mudder - Chicago. I'm fully aware of that. I also know that there is the possibility that I may not be able to run a 1/2 marathon come October. I might have to stop in the middle of that as well. Here is how I FEEL though. I feel like if we don't push ourselves into trying new things then what kind of life are we really living? I think my spirit alone is enough strength to get me through it. I've sat back for 12 years and done nothing for ME. 12 years of doing everything for someone else and I have to tell you, it's not fun. So for once in my life I've decided that I alone have choices to make and goals to meet. I also feel that opportunities arise for many reasons in life and I need to reach my hand out and grab them. Here's the thing..I think anyone should. Why do we have to question whether or not we can do it? You won't know until you TRY!
So I'm most definitely looking forward to training for my 1/2 marathon and seeing the training plan from Angela. I look forward to the next 6 weeks of Springtime and preparing for Tough Mudder to the best of my capabilities. I know that I'm going to give both of these adventures 100% because that's what I do...and then at least when it's all said and done, I can either say I finished it...or I died trying. Figuratively speaking of course. ;-) I really don't want to die.
With that being said here are 3 things that I'm looking forward to in the upcoming 6 months of my fresh start on life as being back to Melissa Ann Draper.
I've been rethinking these so called goals I keep making for myself. I'm thinking about things that I want to accomplish and not just in a fitness aspect but in life in general. I think something that constantly holds me back is fear. Not fear from my own mind, but fear of what everyone else is going to think. When I initially signed up for Tough Mudder I knew that it was a big challenge and I thought I have 8 months to prepare and now it's 7 weeks away and I'm not remotely close to where I want to be. Mind you, I moved out and got a divorce in that time frame so I try not to beat myself up about that...but my point is why does it bother me so much to worry about what other people are going to say?
It happened again recently when I decided to sign up for a 1/2 marathon which will be in Denver, CO on 10/20/2013 for those of you wanting to know. I signed up for multiple reasons and I'll tell you a few.
- I needed another goal after Tough Mudder
- I wanted to honor my mom and with her anniversary of her death being 10/24 I couldn't think of a better way
- I want to continue to challenge myself
- I wanted to accomplish something bigger and couldn't think of a better group of friends to do it with
There are plenty of other reasons too I'm sure, but I sat on the fence about signing up for this for weeks. Questioning my own personal reasons for doing it, but then found myself questioning what others were going to say. "That's a bit extreme don't you think?" "Perhaps you should wait until you lose more weight." "Remember that you have to do what's right for you and your body." Etc. You get my drift. I've heard it before, trust me and honestly it's like a slap in the face. Sometimes people genuinely do care and don't want to see you set yourself up for failure and I totally understand that...I do...but I also try to tell myself that I can't sit back on the sidelines and watch while everyone else continues their journey just because I'm worried about what people will think. I eventually signed up because my good friends just said "stop seeking approval and live for you"
This is what I know....I know I will not be physically capable of doing every obstacle at Tough Mudder - Chicago. I'm fully aware of that. I also know that there is the possibility that I may not be able to run a 1/2 marathon come October. I might have to stop in the middle of that as well. Here is how I FEEL though. I feel like if we don't push ourselves into trying new things then what kind of life are we really living? I think my spirit alone is enough strength to get me through it. I've sat back for 12 years and done nothing for ME. 12 years of doing everything for someone else and I have to tell you, it's not fun. So for once in my life I've decided that I alone have choices to make and goals to meet. I also feel that opportunities arise for many reasons in life and I need to reach my hand out and grab them. Here's the thing..I think anyone should. Why do we have to question whether or not we can do it? You won't know until you TRY!
So I'm most definitely looking forward to training for my 1/2 marathon and seeing the training plan from Angela. I look forward to the next 6 weeks of Springtime and preparing for Tough Mudder to the best of my capabilities. I know that I'm going to give both of these adventures 100% because that's what I do...and then at least when it's all said and done, I can either say I finished it...or I died trying. Figuratively speaking of course. ;-) I really don't want to die.
With that being said here are 3 things that I'm looking forward to in the upcoming 6 months of my fresh start on life as being back to Melissa Ann Draper.
- May 18th, 2013 - Tough Mudder - Chicago
- June 21st -23rd - Dave Matthews Band - Indianapolis
- October 20th, 2013 - Rock-N-Roll 1/2 Marathon - Denver
RSS Feed